There is an old man sitting beside me, He's writing. There is a young man on the other side of my  chewing his gum quickly as he concentrates on the lettters scrawled across the computer screen before him continuously reffering to the small purple Eros and Civilization book before him. Cars are rushing by outside and the wind is blowing the silver cupped leaves in the wind as they travel around the light post.
This city never ceases to amaze me. It's absolutely beautiful.  The kayak festivals, the poeple swimming in an ice cold river downtown, the college students working and just trying to make it by somehow. I walked to dreamers earlier after parking in the Cal Neva and somehow the rush of faces and the places captures my attentions once again.  Who knows where they are from, they bring legacies with them, some trying to drown them in the liquor and gambling, others trying to forget and move on with life, some with homes and some without. In this world we find the abolustes the extremes the wannabes and still those who are normal to societies standrads.. 

To my left there are posters lining the windows, posters of learning to live in bliss (Basically a yoga class that specializes in  sexual positions) the Max Volume band featuired at the underground,  and so many others. A tale of brokeness, a tale of many things.

The old man beside me is still scribbling fervently away and I wonder what stories his pen is telling, his eyes are fast on the paper before him as occassionaly he reaches for a sip of his cup of coffee  or shrugs or makes a strange facial movement as he continues to write. As an outsider I can make an assumption he's trying to  make an unbiased account.I wonder who will one day pick up the small notebook and read its contents, if they'll understand or not. If it's truly unbiased or not.

Reno is a city of paradox, one corner will be white the other will be black, and a few places may even be gray. Weh nI think of Reno I think of the Bruka theater on the corner, of bibos (where all the cool kids hang out, the dnacers, the scholars), of dreamers where all the artists hang out, of Java Jungle where the students, the  musicians and the new agers hang out.
There are two groups of people, the residents (which break into a million catagories) and the tourists, some of the residents are even tourists, (the tourists are here to gamble, or to attend an event usually californians).  and somehow the million catagories of residents and the three or four of tourists crash together to form a culture of black and white with some grey. They form the gay, the city, the straight, the tired, the homeless and the rich. I will miss this little city, in the next two months. But I know it will grow, change and thrive. It might be time to pass off the batton...

Listen to the sound of your heartbeat and remember. Remeber what it means to live. Somehow I want the sweat dripping down my face as my body screams that it needs excercise.I am at the moment sitting in  the fernley senior center  helping someone learn more about the computer.
I was driving here and I almost fell asleep. It was not good.  I am going to get an energy drink on my way home to stay awake.

My heart is kind of turned off at the moment truth be told I am trying to be more proffessional. I feel so far away from the Lord. I spent time in his word today and was reminded that living is being entrusted wit hhis kingdom and following his will and way. He is my lord what more could I want. I should probably write more later when I am not so turned off. Hm.

i've noticed a trend in our world. People are searching for realness, whether it's in  being "green" living simply, looking for it in music, looking for it in others, alchohol, sex drugs whatever it is, they are seeking realness. I was remnded of this strongly when I was in Java jungle this week.  It reminded me that what ihave the realness and wholeness with God is something that I have been seeking for awhile and something I have. It never seems to be enough for me haha. It never seems to be enough and I think, I think that is a good thing. In that I was reminded of all the things that happened last summer and I was blessed again to be reminded. I had a long conversation with Gina today about the revival and several other things. I was stirred once again and I think that it is good.

I've been praying the last week that God would give me the gift of healing, both emotional and physical healing. It's been interesting. I'm not sure in fact what to do with it. in talkign to G today I realized that I readily desire this gift specifically for Thailand.I think that it will be a time of great healing and great joy for me and for  someone else. I can't quite put my finger on it. it is almost as if I am going for one specific purpose or person I am not sure what to do with that. i've also had pictures lately of my tongue being loosened and my mouth being opened. It is almost as if God is shaking up his people and they will be the leaders here. Gina feels that those that have been shaken the most are those that will be the leaders. A pattern I have seen God use before. i wonder if it will include the restoration of my discernment. i am unsure but it holds promises.

I am still trying to figure out the dance thing. For me it is incredibly healing but why? Why is it so healing? I am still trying to figure it all out. I guess I don't need to but I feel like God has been giving me favor with dancers and that confuses me. I wonder if I am supposed to stay and get a second minor or major if it is being offered. I've always felt acertain strength in being a student and that if gives me more power at least in this city to be a witness and be apart of the ministry here. I'm graduating and I am unsure as to what is next.

I need to be careful about guys I think at least for awhile. I think there are a few exceptions, Ross, Jacob, Matt Mcdowell and JJ, other than that I think it would be a bad idea. Interesting... why them?  I think I need to be careful withthem to, but I dunno.

I worked at IV today to raise money for our trip and I have a nice sunburned face. Joy! Ok more later gotta go.